Sohee Carpenter — From Control to Confidence: A Journey Through Strength, Science, and Self-Compassion

It wasn’t a dramatic insult or repeated bullying. Just a casual, offhand moment in swim practice: A boy wrapped his fingers around Sohee Carpenter’s upper arm, measuring it like it was a number to be judged. He compared it to his own. Then moved on. 

But Sohee didn’t. That moment planted a seed of self-doubt that quickly spiraled.  

“It was like something inside me just flipped,” she says, remembering. “It hadn’t even occurred to me to restrict my food before then.”  

The very next day, she skipped lunch. 

It marked the beginning of a painful relationship with food, exercise, and her body — years marked by anorexia, bulimia, obsessive cardio, and fear of losing control. 

Now, decades later, Sohee is a PhD in sports science, a certified strength coach, a fitness adviser for Women’s Health, and the founder of Eat. Lift. Thrive., a coaching method rooted in science, psychology, and self-compassion. 

Her mission? To help others build strength without losing themselves. 

The Road to Recovery 

As a teenager, Sohee ran every day, clocking 90-minute sessions even when her body screamed for rest. Compliments about her shrinking frame only fueled the fire. She began tying her worth to her willpower — how little she ate, how much she exercised. 

By college, she was all about “clean eating.”  

“I thought being healthy meant eating egg whites and chicken breasts and saying no to birthday cake,” she says. “I even stopped eating Korean food for years” -- the food of her family.  

While her grades soared and she earned an esteemed spot at Stanford University, she was unraveling inside. 

“I couldn’t understand why I was so ‘disciplined’ in every other area of my life but couldn’t figure out nutrition. The old advice — ‘just want it more’ — wasn’t working,” Sohee says.  

That frustration led her deeper into her education, and herself. She began to explore psychology, nutrition, and eventually a master’s degree focused on eating behavior. She started blogging, first as a side hustle, then as a way to help others make sense of their own struggles. Within months, she was picked up by Bodybuilding.com, and her online presence exploded.  

Strength With Substance 

Since then, Sohee’s coaching business has grown into a global community. She’s coached thousands of women, been published, graced magazine covers. But she was still eager for more growth and to help more people.  

So she went back to school again, this time for her PhD in sports science. Her goal: to fill the gaps she saw in the research, especially for women. 

“There’s so little data on women who lift. We’ve been operating off male-centered studies for too long. That’s not good enough anymore,” he says.  

Her latest published study focuses on women and strength training, a first-of-its-kind comparison between traditional lifting and high-intensity circuit training in trained premenopausal women.  

If there’s one theme that runs through Sohee’s studies, research, and personal story, it’s realism. She isn’t preaching six-packs or 75-minute workouts or eliminating your favorite foods. In fact, she’s actively dismantling that narrative.  

“I used to think if I couldn’t do my perfect workout, I shouldn’t do it at all. That mindset made me miserable,” she says. “Now? I prioritize quality of life alongside health. I’ll still lift every day, but I’ll never cancel dinner with a friend to do it.”  

The Mental Game 

Sohee’s training style goes way beyond the physical. It’s about psychological flexibility, habit formation, and self-kindness. Her “ELT Method” focuses on behavior change, not willpower. She teaches people how to build routines that support — not suffocate — them. 

“I don’t talk about fat loss anymore,” she says. “I talk about sleep. Fiber. Joy. It’s about living — not just shrinking.” 

She speaks often about how healing isn’t linear. How binge eating doesn’t just disappear. How you can be strong and still struggle. 

And that honesty? It’s what makes her so powerful.

Sohee Carpenter isn’t finished. Not even close. With her PhD nearly completed, her next mission is simple and profound: Get more women lifting — and enjoying it. Whether it’s in a garage gym, at a boutique studio, or in your living room, lifting weights isn’t just for looks. It’s for your bones, your heart, your confidence, your life, she says.

“You can build a strong body and still go out for ice cream with your kid. That is health," she says.

What Sohee Would Tell Her Younger Self

Hindsight is 20/20, right? Here are a few things Sohee has learned along the way: